Throughout our lives many of us accumulate trauma that goes unaddressed and we just carry it around almost unaware. If you grew up in a home with narcissistic or toxic parents, abuse (physical, verbal, emotional or sexual) or substance abuse then the trauma may be easier for you to trace because there are more overt signs. Even in homes when there is no abuse that you can put a finger on you may still be carrying trauma.
If you want to live your life to the fullest it is necessary to heal your emotional wounds. Emotional healing is the combining of the fragmented parts of our soul, which allows us to not only understand our previous experiences, but also to resolve them fully so that they no longer evoke an emotional response. Doing the healing work is an act of self love, and also a loving act for the people that you love in your life.
Following on from the quote above, when trauma is not healed, your emotions build up in the body and cause emotional blocks. Our bodies are designed to allow emotions, energy in motion, to flow freely. When a block occurs then our energy becomes stagnant, if these emotional blocks are left to fester for years they begin to cause pain and maybe even dis-ease in the body. Facing the trauma that is stored in the body is not easy but it is invaluable for living a fulfilling life. Once you have healed the trauma you become fully present in your life and you experience things as they happen, rather than being triggered and reacting from a place of pain.
Healing emotional wounds is uncomfortable, but the short sting beats losing your mind to a lifetime of despair.Sage Liskey
Speaking to a therapist or counsellor is a great option if that is available to you. Alternatively there are numerous self help books and online courses that can be very beneficial to your healing journey. With modern technology it is not always necessary to sit in a therapists office which can feel slightly be daunting at first.
The important things to remember are:
- Small changes can make a large difference, you do not need to heal 100% in order to improve the levels of joy in your life.
- Consistency is important, it has taken you many years to form the habits and behaviours that you have and you will not change them overnight. Even when you do make progress there will sometimes be set backs and this is fine. Be patient with yourself and commit to working towards your goals daily.
- Uncomfortable emotions may arise As you dig deeper and continue working on yourself there may be uncomfortable emotions, which have been laying dormant, which begin to arise. These emotions can come to the surface in a variety of ways; feeling moody, bursting into tears, irritable, tension headache or feeling fatigued. The most important thing is to feel your emotions and allow them to pass through your body without judging them.
- Journaling is a great tool that you can be used daily. This allows you to write your thoughts and feelings without judgement. I am a strong believer in a pen and a pad, I believe that it is easier to connect more with the words that you are writing, rather than everything being digital, but this is a personal choice.
- Speaking to a trusted friend or family member works for some but I find that in the early stages of your healing journey is is sometimes better to utilise the other methods first. When you are feeling fragile or making important decisions an over opinionated friend can really sway your views, especially if you do not have strong boundaries in place, but you will have to decide what works best for you.
- Do not overwhelm yourself by setting yourself unrealistic goals or expecting to heal too quickly, you will leave yourself feeling demotivated.
Healing is a process that takes time and the main thing is that you commit to the journey. I would love to hear what healing practices you have, or what you found that works for you?